I’ve learned a lot about love in the past few months. Mostly I’ve learned that I don’t know about love, in any absolute way. I don’t know anything in any absolute way. Or, at least anything of real significance. I like not knowing. It’s freeing. It leaves room in my mind for openness and curiosity and surprise. If I let go of knowing, I leave room for infinite possibility, which negates the existence of being “stuck”.
I actually don’t believe in “stuck”. Life is never stuck. Life moves, morphs, transforms constantly and infinitely. My mind gets sticky; not life. A sticky mind means I think I absolutely know something without exception. Because life is always moving, the only thing I can know for sure is gone as soon as it arrives. Whatever I believe is only true in this moment; the past moment is gone and the future moment hasn’t arrived. But, it happens so fast that it’s easy to think it’s all the same forever, and we live like it’s true, and we kill and hurt and promise like it will never change. What a way to suffer!
Going with the flow is way more peaceful, if we know how to navigate the obstacles to flow. We can either fight, flee, or freeze or open up and get curious about our options.
In my experience, the body is a great way to know. The body doesn’t lie. But, since it’s alive, it’s changing all the time, too. Thank, goodness! My mind is reliably unreliable. My body often feels like the translator of my mind. It moves more slowly and gives me consistent feedback regarding whether what I’m believing is true or not. If it’s true, I feel peaceful in my body. If it’s not true, I feel anything but peaceful. I use my body as my gauge for whether a belief serves me, or not, or whether it is true for me in that moment.
So, back to love. Last month, the local paper very kindly wrote up a nice article all about me and my coaching practice of “transformative love” (their word combo) (http://www.state-journal.com/ 2016/09/12/transformative- love-get-to-know-hunter-purdy/, as if I know something about it. I want to be clear about what I know: Love feels good to me, as do all of Love’s kin – kindness, care, compassion, respect, admiration, etc. That is all I know. When I put my metaphorical Love Glasses on, I treat others (people, animals, our Earth, all of life) the way I want to be treated, and I love myself better than anyone ever could or can. I’m not talking about sentimental love. I’m talking about capital L Love that some of us associate with God, Creator, Absolute, Universe, etc. So, this kind of Love can’t be proven. That is because it is beyond description, beyond comprehension, infinite, everywhere, beyond time and space. Since I can’t prove it, in order to share my feeling of it (to communicate about it), I have to give the feeling a name and believe it’s true. I’m calling my good feeling Love.
Based on the way Love feels to me (warm, deeply calm, inspired, connection that feels like we are essentially One) and to others with whom I’ve conversed personally, or read their description of their own experience, my nursing practice has become an extension of my personal desire to serve Love in every area of my life. It’s helpful that I’m not alone and we have so many good examples throughout history of others who have and do serve Love.
Do I know what I’m talking about? No. Do I feel good in my body when I let the answers to, “What would Love do?”, determine my next step? Absolutely.
What do you know? What does Love feel like in your body? What are your obstacles to Love? I would love to know!